You may have heard last week a huge storm passed through Northern California dumping several inches of much needed rain in a 24 hour period breaking records as far back as 1962!  Get the picture?  Lots and LOTS of rain.  Didn’t stop Ian from wanting to get outside and splash around and play.  I decided in that moment, I could not imagine anywhere else I’d rather be either.  So, I suited us both up in full rain gear and stomped around in the puddles.  Ian sat at the edge of the curb for at least twenty minutes playing and splashing in the rushing river in our street which almost crested the curb.  We topped the adventure off by swinging in the rain.  Yep, that’s right, just swinging in the rain.  Hubby took this photo to capture one of our moments of pure joy.  This photo reminds me of the magic of being present in that moment.

I’m often asked if I think vaccines caused my son’s autism.  He received his first vaccination at two weeks old and his last shots at six months of age.  I’ve asked myself this question many times and at this moment I don’t have an emphatic answer either way.  For now, I remain open to the possibility that the vaccines he received contributed to his immune system and neurological dysfunction.  For me, there are just too many unanswered questions.  For example, he received his first Hepatitis B vaccine at two weeks of age.  Is it possible his immune system wasn’t mature enough to handle multiple vaccines at such an early age?  Why NOT consider delaying the vaccine schedule?  Are there chemicals in the vaccines that trigger a negative result to either the neurological system or immune system?  I’m not only asking about Thimerosol, there are many other ingredients in vaccines that I question.  Is there a genetic factor involved that predisposes a child to susceptibility for vaccine injury?

As a result of not having clear, accurate answers to the above questions, my husband and I chose not to vaccinate our second child.  He’s now five years old and developing beautifully.  We were not willing to take the risk that the vaccines could cause damage.

Please don’t mistake my personal choices concerning vaccines as a recommendation for anyone else not to vaccinate.  I invite parents to investigate, do their own research, ask lots of questions and decide for themselves what decision feels right for them and their child.  Vaccinating a child is a VERY personal decision.  As a parent I want more accurate information and less politics, posturing and blaming.  Do I believe there is a public health risk if more and more parents choose not to vaccinate their child or alternatively slow the schedule way down?  Yes.  But, perhaps this is what is necessary to motivate the makers of vaccines to conduct ethically sound research that validates the safety of vaccines and if the research shows they are not safe then please clean them up!!

Pharmaceutical companies fund many research studies, which I believe introduces a potential conflict of interest.  Please tell me where I’m wrong.  Cleaning up vaccines is expensive.  I question the motivation and validity of a study funded by a company that relies on revenue from the very product that would be affected.  Then there are studies that are funded by anti-vaccine interest groups; the same could be said about their attachment to the outcome.  I often see the debate quickly turning ugly when new study results are released to the public.  There is intense energy spent on finger pointing, accusations, attacks on reputations, defending the old school system, control struggles and protecting egos.  Fierce resistance on both sides ensues.  Where does that lead?  From my perspective resistance leads to more resistance not solutions.  So, is it possible for the two sides of this conundrum to respectfully collaborate and address the problem with creativity and no attachment to the outcome except finding the truth?  I’d like to believe it’s possible.  It takes leadership that leads without force and ignites the desire for truth.

I recognize the controversy gets hot in many communities and conversations with pediatricians can get tricky.  I want credible, independent, scientific research studies funded by institutions that do not have any attachment to the outcome and will not benefit financially either way from the research results.  Is that possible?  When I say this to friends and family I get the look saying, “Are you delusional?  Do you not understand how political this issue is?”  Why does it have to be about politics rather than finding the truth to make sure the vaccines are safe for kids?  Maybe I am delusional; I never claimed not to be.  But that’s not the issue I’m discussing here.

Am I passionate about this issue?  You bet.  Do I have hope there will be a solution?  Yes, there is a path to the truth.  Do I know how to get there?  Not yet, but I’m thinking, I’m thinking.  I have a hunch it won’t be with all the negative energy I’ve observed from both sides.  Perhaps if that negative energy could be turned towards collaboration and the quest for truth, then the answers would rise to the surface.  Hmmmm, perhaps I am a bit delusional but I’m not giving up on the dream that the truth can be found.  The answers reveal themselves when we keep digging and digging with the questions.

I’d love to hear your comments and ideas.

I want to share a short story with you that had me and Lowell in hysterics last night. I hope you enjoy!

So, last night at the dinner table Lowell asked our five year old son Lane to share the best part of his day at kindergarten. Lane replied, “eating lunch with my friends.” So Lowell asked who were his friends and Lane proceeded to name them one by one. “Orin, Lauren, Aiden, jackass…”

Lowell and I looked at each other quizzically. Did we just hear our son say jackass? We also started breaking up and Lane wanted to know why Mommy and Daddy were laughing. So, Lowell calmly asked Lane to name the kids again as he didn’t quite understand.

Lane said, “Orin, Lauren, Aiden, jackass…”

There it was AGAIN! By now Lowell and I were in hysterics. Tears were starting to stream out of my eyes. Lane was now laughing with us but had no idea why. If Mommy and Daddy were laughing, it must be funny.

So Lane asked, “Why are you laughing?”

Ok, here comes the conundrum. We didn’t want to tell him why we were laughing and yet we still wanted to ask more questions because we just couldn’t believe he was really saying what we “THOUGHT” we were hearing. So, Lowell very gently asked him one more time to say the names. Lane was quite patient with Daddy, he didn’t know why he kept asking. But again, we heard, “Orin, Lauren, Aiden, jackass…” This time Lowell stopped and asked him about the last name.

Lane very emphatically explained, “Daddy, it’s Jack S. not Jack R.”

OOOHhhhhh, NOW we got it. Apparently, there are two boys in Lane’s class named Jack with last names that begin with S and R so the teacher calls the boys Jack S. and Jack R. I wonder if the teacher has any idea how it sounds when the kids say the names??? Lane had lunch with Orin, Lauren, Aiden and Jack S.!

We cried tears of laughter for several minutes and Lane thought his story was hilarious and yet had no idea why. That was irrelevant. What did matter was our connection through sharing our laughter and our combined energy created such a feeling of pure joy. Lane understood completely with no explanation necessary.

When I told Lowell I planned to post the story on my blog Lane thought that was so cool. His response, “Mommy, you can share the story with anyone and I hope they laugh too.” He loves to share the energy of joy.

So, did you laugh, well, did ya? Lane hopes so.