Sunday, April 23rd, 2017

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Stop the feedback screech

So, after a call I spoke with my hubby and we embraced Martha’s recommendation regarding my son’s fear of rain and thunder to remain relaxed and stop the feedback screech. Later that afternoon a thunderstorm raged with hail and torrential rain for about an hour. A fantastic storm! I held Lane, remained calm, told him I loved him and that I was there for him, and relaxed while he experienced his fear. I didn’t try to convince him not to be afraid. I also told him I was not afraid and that it was perfectly fine however he felt. After about five minutes, I started playing bridge (one my my absolutely favorite card games!) with my family so I was very calm and happy. This approach appeared to release tension within him. He started to explore the experience and get closer to the open sliding glass doors all on his own.

Thursday afternoon we had another smaller thunderstorm and this time he was with his camp counselors. We had suggested that they allow him feel his fear and just provide love and support. Hubby and I were on a hike getting wet and loving every minute! (We were at a family camp in Tahoe.) When we picked Lane up from his group later in the afternoon, he didn’t even mention the storm. Earlier in the week he would have obsessed about every cloud in the sky, asking, “Are those thunder clouds? Is it going to rain?”

Then, on Friday afternoon, while relaxing on the boat dock next to the lake, Lane turned to me and announced, “Mommy, I took away the thought and threw it away.” I asked, “What thought, honey?” To which he replied, “That I’m scared of rain and thunder.” I asked what thought replaced it and he answered, “That rain and thunder aren’t scary.” Holy cow, my hubby and I just smiled in awe. Lane beamed with pride and self confidence. Then Lane and I proceeded to describe the shapes and animals we saw when gazing up at the huge thunder clouds forming above our heads. Earlier in the week he would have insisted on going inside the moment he saw a cloud in the sky. When it rained again that evening, he calmly went for cover and appeared relaxed and unaffected. WHOA!!

We arrived home last night and as hubby and I discussed this amazing experience, I realized I’ve been practicing this concept of not getting hooked into Ian’s (my older son) fear and anxiety for months and it works beautifully. Again, this demonstrates to me that my little ones are my two greatest teachers and I have the perfect opportunities for deep practice on a daily basis.

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