My son Ian has autism. He’s also globally delayed, has a seizure disorder, food allergies and sensitivities, chemical sensitivities, and the list goes on. He also has beautiful green eyes that twinkle when he smiles, a little smirk that brightens my day, a level of patience that exceeds my capacity of understanding, the most amazing pure expression of love I’ve ever experienced, and he is my greatest teacher.
He’s my little Zen master and I his faithful student. Though at times in my journey I would say my faith waned, that did not deter him. He always remains true to his destiny and speaks the absolute truth. He cannot lie. You see, he does not speak words from any verbal language. He actually makes very few sounds and the ones he does make are mostly vowel-based. However, he has taught me that words are so unnecessary to communicate. They actually get in the way of truth and clarity. His communication is clear, truthful, and transparent and once I finally started to learn how to hear him, my whole world shifted.
He has so much work to do, so many lessons to teach and I’m finally hearing him. He’s so relieved. I hear him say, “Ok Mom, you finally are getting it. You’re really hearing me and now let’s get to work. You need to use that language of yours to share my lessons with others.”
It is my belief that he and I have a contract, an agreement that we made. He’s been playing his role perfectly and I now am starting to understand that I’ve been playing my role exactly as I needed to in order to get to the point where I am today, at this very moment, typing these words on my computer. I’m compelled to share Ian’s lessons because it’s what I’m supposed to do.